Wayne the farmhand

My associate photographer, Elena, took this great shot of Wayne, my hired hand while we were setting up to shoot some fashion shots. Wayne talks like Boomhauer and often repeats himself. His favorite phrase is “I ain’t worried ’bout it”. I don’t pay him much but what I save in salary I make up in breakage.

38 Responses to “Wayne the farmhand”

  1. boatdog Says:

    I saw this shot on her site this morning and thought it was the best one (except for all the ones of you).

  2. rotobra Says:

    When Elena told Wayne that more of her fellow photographers had commented on this shot more than any other of her recent ones and that they were primarily men commentators he said, “Well I ain’t no homo, tell ’em I don’t do that homo shit!” He didn’t quite get it. Elena does some really incredible underwater portraits with lighting and background etc. She’s going to show me how to do this. I may post some of her shots.

  3. boatdog Says:

    “Let me come at it this way”

    Remember our old Cajun buddy, Butch?


  4. rotobra Says:

    Ol’ Butch may have to come at a different way after they opened up the spillways. The intentional flooding to save Baton Rouge and Nawlens will actually be good for the swamps they say. It’s kinda a bitch for the cajuns of Eunice who will lose their homes. Remenber when I commented to Butch that the Cajuns would eat lots of critters that we don’t eat in Texas and he responded, “At least we don’t eat Armdillos!” I should have said that actually they do they just call them ‘possums on the half shell. This was about when Paula glared at me when I mentioned shooting a few armadillos because they ruined my gardens and said, “WE don’t shoot armadillos.” to which I replied, “We?”

  5. unclebanjo Says:

    Hey what am I chopped liver?

  6. corndoggie Says:

    We’re all chopped liver.

    Cool photo.

  7. unclebanjo Says:

    My wife’s best friend in the mountains was married to a deputy sheriff that felt the same way as Wayne but when we met at our neighbors campsite above Crabtree falls with two trailers side by side with a deck, dinner table and chandelier hanging over, after the cocktails and steak dinner on china he was over his hatred. It also helped that the main queen looked like Travis Tritt. He even went and visited our friends up there without us. It’s a good thing to help ones lose their hate.

  8. rotobra Says:

    Brokeback Mountain meets country music royalty while “roughing it” at Crabtree Falls complete with fine china, chandelier and all. Hell, that would make a homophobe of anyone. I guess they had fewer chances of hooking up with Barney Fife if they stayed at The Biltmore. Just kidding, some of my best friends have been queers. At least they tend to have a sense of humor unlike lesbians. (This is bound to offend someone so let me have it!)

  9. He’s BaaaaaaaaaaaaK!

  10. unclebanjo Says:

    Caught this last night, Coby is leaving on tour with the FUGS soon.

  11. unclebanjo Says:

    Still no link for Elena’s site. It ain’t on the MUSE!

  12. Dog in Boat Says:

    Dude, it’s right there in the photo: http://www.elenahernandez.com/

  13. I really liked Elena’s site. I’m a big fan of Stevie Ray and underwater photography. Maybe Alex could help put some edge on the graffiti stuff.

  14. unclebanjo Says:

    Sorry, I couldn’t see that.

    Be kind to old friends that are four-eyes these days. I hope I don’t need new glasses?

    Getting ready to look, hope there is no gay underwater photography….

  15. unclebanjo Says:

    Omit that gay remark cause I must have a little sweet in me cause I LOVE lady Ga Ga :

  16. unclebanjo Says:

  17. unclebanjo Says:

  18. unclebanjo Says:

    p.s. Gourdhead was talking about how this was lit and the aperture used and also the count of the lights used seen in Waynes pupils.

  19. rotobra Says:

    Gourdhead knows that since the eyeballs are the reflective part of the body then it is often possible to discern how a portrait is lit by noting the position, shape and quality of the “catchlights” or reflections in the eye. Wayne was lit with a really simple but very glamorous set up. Note the medium hard light source in the twelve o’clock position of the eye and the longer hard light refection at the six o’clock position. A strobe in a small softbox was placed on a boom arm above and directly in front of his face aimed downward and reflected up by plastic mirror placed directly in front of Wayne flat on a small table. If you don’t own a boom you could just hold the softbox over the camera (if you are close enough) aimed down into the mirror. I often use store bought photo reflectors made of metallic fabric in gold, silver or white but nothing gives you the hard “pop” of the mirror. The plastic mirror was purchased at a dollar store for a few bucks and the frame thrown away. It’s lighter and easier to use without fear of breakage plus it can be flexed to control the light. This lighting tends to fill in facial imperfections and really makes the eyes sparkle. A bigger, softer main source (and leaving the shot in color) would have softened more of Wayne’s skin problems but it wouldn’t have been as dramatic. It is great for a high fashion, glamour look and works better on people with thinner faces as it can make people with wide, round faces look wider. As always, Wayne was wearing a ball cap but this set up (and tight cropping) fixed that problem. Elena likes to use the lights like hot lights with no flash shooting at high ISO and correct out the color temperature of the modeling light if we were to use a color shot but I prefer lower ISO in the camera room so I use the flash. The shot looks about the same either way. Thanks for Uncle Banjo and Gourdheads interest.

  20. unclebanjo Says:

  21. boatdog Says:

  22. We must be in heaven man!

  23. unclebanjo Says:

    I recently succeeded in heat curing some bamboo. My next project is to make 3 shakuhachi flutes this summer and maybe some just regular flutes. I’ve always really enjoyed the haunting sounds of the shakuhachi and yes it is heaven like.

    p.s. The bamboo source Barry has welcomed me to use.

  24. unclebanjo Says:

  25. unclebanjo Says:

  26. unclebanjo Says:

  27. unclebanjo Says:

  28. This guy is a wealth of knowledge :


  29. boatdog Says:

    At first I though somebody had deleted my Wavy Gravy video until I realized that the “TURTLE” has posted 6 comments since then, So I had to scroll pretty far back to find it.

    Go Muse! Carry on.

  30. rotobra Says:

    I know this has nothing to do with Lady Gaga or primitive flutes but on an unrelated topic I thought I would relate the latest Wayne stories. A friend had recently tried to set me up to date a fellow photographer who is a very intelligent, (MENSA member) nice looking somewhat younger woman who owns her own successful business. I met her but felt no real “spark”. When Wayne heard that I wasn’t interested in her he allowed that he would be happy to have her sight unseen so long as she didn’t weigh over 300 and had a pulse. This certainly would have been an “odd couple”.
    When the tornado alarms went off with an eerie wail at three in the morning I screamed at the top of my lungs up the stairs for Wayne to wake up. When he didn’t respond I truly thought that he had died during the night so I got in the under stair space by myself. At daybreak I thought about how dealing with the coroner would complicate my plans for the day when I heard the toilet upstairs flush. He had slept through one hell of a storm.
    I finally taught Wayne to use the weed eater and within minutes he had sent a rock through my etched glass front entry door smashing it to pieces. The riding mower is next. Wish me luck.
    Yesterday Wayne told me he was only scared of one bug and it was a spider that if it bites you parts of your body fall off and that it was called a “brown caloose”.
    More “Wayne” updates to come.

  31. rotobra Says:

    I forgot to mention that Wayne is staying here rent free temporarily because I severely sprained my ankle while doing portraits at the creek and he helps me set up photo shoots and does yard work. I fell off a cliff. It was only a five foot high cliff but I landed funny. I went from crutches and terrible pain to a cane and less pain so I am trying to break it to Wayne that he will have to go somewhere else except he has nowhere to go. I am trying to help him apply for physical and mental disability checks.

  32. boatdog Says:

    Aside from interrupting our Lady GaGa flute building discussion, that was a pretty interesting non-sequitur. I have also slept through a tornado, and also once slept through having a black bear in my campsite, but that’s another story. Glad you are on the mend from your tumble in the creek bottom.

    I think the important thing to remember when musing is that it’s not about staying on subject, it’s about how many comments can you get on your post. “Wayne the Farmhand” is up to 33 now. Not quite “The Greatest Composer You’ve Never Heard of,” but not bad.

    If your post gets enough comments, I might animate it for you on Xtranormal, like I did with “The Greatest Composer You’ve Never Heard Of.” My animation was not universally popular and got non-reaction and turtle-like responses from key musers, but, on the bright side, it was a lot of work that took me 3 days to do.

    Oh yeah, and another thing about musing is to remember to link back to your previous posts as often as possible in the comments section, like this:


  33. I was going TURTLE because of the lack of support of my offbeat Wayne thread but since I enjoyed the pulse comment, I’m starting to grow more fond of Wayne. Also the bands name the Bamboo Shoots somehow proves my offbeat WAYs has an effect.

  34. boatdog Says:

    OK, thanks for the clarification. It’s all clear as buttermilk biscuits now.

    “Bamboo Shoots” was a name I came up with for my video because I was thinking about the way the bamboo shoots invading my yard are beautiful, while at the same time invasive, sort of like a Power Cave gathering. But maybe it wasn’t that. Maybe the power of your bamboo flute making video links was acting on my subconscious.

  35. That’s even better!

    p.s. Thanks for fixing my SMITH-VICTOR light. Will photograph the result tonight

  36. rotobra Says:

    “Eats shoots and leaves.” Question? Is it a special species of bamboo that grows really giant like the bamboo that we used to find in “The Bamboo Forest” at the canal? We used to find this very useful for doing crafts and I don’t mean flute making. I would like to get ahold of some cuttings of this bamboo so I can grow a “Bamboo Forest” near the creek for a unique portrait setting. Animoto.com can make really cool video montages for you set to music and it takes ten minutes not three days. There is a nominal fee if you sign up but the first one is free. I’m now moving up from the thirty dollar a year level to the 250$ a year level to get higher resolution vids with no “branding” from Animoto so my clients will think we created these with great expertise and time expenditure. I give these to the client for free when they spend a lot of money but I digress. How ’bout that wacky Wayne, huh?. Wayne’s response to almost everything, “That’ll work”.

  37. corndoggie Says:

    BD can create photomontages in his high-end video software, but that 3D character animation is nothing to sneeze at — check out his Muse animation, which I say again is the best offering to date, topping even my mix-yer-own sax-montage . Thanks again, B-Dawg, for the 3 days.

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